We are here for you! Whether you need to request a bit of extra help with how you are feeling or you would like to look through some of our bereavement resources, you are in the right place. At Scotty’s we want to remind you that you are not alone and we are here for YOU whenever you need us.
Request virtual 1:1 bereavement support by clicking the 'Get in Touch’ button
Access bereavement resources and guidance
Find signposting to crisis services and in person support options
(Name has been changed for confidentiality)
Sam is 14 years old. When she was 12, her dad died suddenly. Sam and her family lived on a military base at the time and the whole community was in shock at the news. After her dad’s death, they moved away to live closer to her Nan and other family members. Moving house meant that Sam had to change schools, so she had to say goodbye to friends and try to make new ones all over again. Sam has found the last two years really hard, as she misses her dad and her old life with him. She joined Scotty’s a few months after her dad died.
At home, there are lots of photos of her dad proudly wearing his military uniform and Sam likes to look at them and talk about her dad’s service. However, Sam doesn’t like to get upset in front of her mum or other family members. She started to become quite angry at times, and getting into trouble at school for arguing with other pupils. That’s when her mum reached out to Scotty’s for help.
Sam started having 1:1 online sessions with the team at Scotty’s and, although she was really nervous about them at first, she soon realised it felt good to open up and explain how she felt about her dad dying, and her life generally. Scotty’s didn’t judge her or tell her how she should feel, which Sam appreciated. After a few sessions, Sam decided she didn’t really need the extra help anymore but was pleased to know that she could ask for further sessions at any time. It made her feel so much better realising that she wasn’t alone.
Read More
What we all have in common! Although every one of you visiting this OpsZone is individual and will experience different feelings around your own bereavement, you do all have something in common. Your parents all served for our country, and you are all Members of Scotty’s. Often we hear from our Members and Springboarders that Scotty’s is a special community that you wish you weren’t a part of, but you are glad you are. Please remember you are not alone and Scotty’s and the whole community is here to support you.
When someone you care about dies, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone’s experiences of grief are individual. How you react might be different to how other people around you react and that’s okay. Some people don’t feel their grief straight away and may feel numbness and shock. It can take time for the reality to sink in that a parent has died and is not coming back. This is all very natural.
When you are bereaved, you can experience loads of different emotions. You might feel sad, depressed, angry, anxious, shocked or even guilty or relieved. It is common for our bodies to react in different ways too. Physical reactions might include changes in your appetite or sleep, trouble concentrating, experiencing aches and pains and crying more than usual.
Grief may be more intense at different times within your life. It’s perfectly normal to feel ok for very long periods of time (even years) and then suddenly find yourself feeling lots of different emotions again. People often describe grief as waves that come and go.
It is important to share how you are feeling. Maybe speak to someone you trust- your parent or carer, schoolteacher or sports coach and you can always contact the Scotty’s Team by clicking ‘Get in Touch.’ If you feel need some extra help with your mental health then see our Crisis Support page.
The SUPPORT team have shared some of the bereavement resources they sometimes use within 1:1 sessions. It is important to note resources are only ever used in agreement with the person seeking support. If you don’t find writing or drawing helpful then you can discuss that with your bereavement support worker. Each resource has a downloadable worksheet and a how to guide. If you need any of these resources printing and posting out please let us know by clicking the ‘get in touch’ button.
Sometimes it can be hard to know how best to remember a parent, so here are a few ideas from the Families Team at Scotty’s. When you sign up to become a Scotty’s Member you will receive a keepsake box. If you haven’t received one and would like one then please do get in touch! (one per member).
